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Madelynn's Mommy:
May 8th, 2008 at 4:09 am
Well of course you have the right to be upset over this but dont take it over board. A Lot of men just have anxiety of hurting the baby, it doesnt matter who tells them its ok its still strange and scary to them. I would just tell him you are still a human and need affection. At Least he is looking at porn instead of finding some other woman to be with, there are men out there who would just find a “sex partner”… Good luck and I hope things work out for you!
Jessica:
May 8th, 2008 at 9:34 pm
YES! I would be extremely upset (but im the jealous type). We watch movies together and stuff but if I found out it was behind my back I dont know what I would do. Its understandable that he is nervous, but i would explain things over with him again just so he fully understands and if he wont change then the choice is yours, but I would probably leave him with his porn for a bit… The bad thing is it can be quite addicting, and you dont want that around you or your baby it can be quite depressing!
Xlksdfj:
May 11th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
i think its very normal, be happy your fiance cares for you, and cares for the baby so much hes being very caucious, its not easy for a guy to have sex with a pregnent woman, the thought of his head poking the babys? i mean seroiusly, think about it. guys are pretty dumb lol. dont feel as if youve been cheated on , im sure once you have the baby you guys will make up for it all
Lucy:
May 12th, 2008 at 3:51 pm
Personally I’d feel a little upset if I was in your shoes also but thats just me. A lot of women really don’t mind their partners looking at porn but I’m not one of them I’m afraid. However, I know of loads of men who have put off having sex just incase they hurt the baby. And it wont matter how many times you try to convince him it wont hurt the baby he wont believe you and feel really awkward if you force him. Just sit him down and talk it over with him. Tell him you feel hurt now because he was looking at porn and ask him to understand from your point of view. Don’t forget mind, in the last stages of pregnancy you’re not gonna be in any mood to have sex and he’s gonna have to put up with that so talk it out and make both of your feeling known. Good luck xx
Sydney:
May 15th, 2008 at 2:11 am
You’re being needy and self-centered… Just because someone looks at porn, it doesn’t mean that you’re any less important. He’s with you, isn’t he? That should be enough. Did you even stop to ask him how he feels?
☆]Hailz+Him=L0V3!! =]:
May 18th, 2008 at 4:40 am
Yes you have a right. He is basically cheating on you. It isn’t right. You still have to think is a grown man. If he has a baby on the way soon enough he will stop because he wouldn’t want to set a bad example for his soon to be child!!
mommyof3:
May 19th, 2008 at 5:29 pm
OMG!!! I AM 38 WEEKS TODAY, AND I LOOKED UP HISTORY IN OUR COMPUTER, LOOKING FOR INFO I HAD FOUND ON BREECH BABIES….
SAME EXACT THING!!! PORN, PORN, PORN, AND MORE PORN… ALL ON YOUTUBE!!! I WAS SOOOO PISSED… AND HE DID THE SAME THING TO ME!! NO SEX FOR LIKE 3 WEEKS, AND IF I TOUCHED HIM HE DID THE SAME EXACT THING. (*MIND YOU WE HAD BEEN HAVING SEX FROM ZERO WKS PG- THE FIRST DAY OF THE PORN!!*)
You are correct you do have the right to be upset, I actually had been pretty upset about other things, and finding out my baby is breech and so on… so that did NOT make things any better!! He was like “oh well its not like I saw any nude on there” It didnt matter to me, the fact of the matter is this was in searches on Youtube… He had intensions of seeing naked women… AND to top that I had 2 porns when we got together, and he threw them away because “that sh*t is nasty* so he said!!
My results were: Hott naked blondes, big tits, hott girls getting f*cked
Nice huh! REALLY hurt my feelings, and made me feel like crap!!
I would tell him that it is unexceptable, and that you will be keeping an eye on it. I told my bf that if I found ANY more that I would be reconsidering our relationship, because I will not tolerate him being sneaky behind my back!!
I hope the best for you, and congratulations on the new baby!
(:Chel♥Baby Due 11/15/09:):
May 19th, 2008 at 9:08 pm
My boyfriend got over it now but hes just horny but really consider it as major possibility the baby the truth men dont understand the concept of pregnancy even is safe and tucked away in their mind.
Cat:
May 21st, 2008 at 10:41 pm
Why don’t you suggest other things and avoid penetrative sex until he feels more comfortable. Don’t be angry with him, porn is not cheating and shows that he is not a cheater. Be patient and tell him that you respect him but you still need him to be close and intimate, look online together for some fun things to do that he will feel comfortable doing.
Jaki:
May 24th, 2008 at 1:59 am
I understand why you feel this way, but you must understand that men aren’t usually comfortable with having sex inches away from an unborn baby. And porn is…normal at all points in a relationship. Sorry. It just is. Its not that he doesnt love you, you just aren’t slutty or flexible at the moment, and he needs to find some way of getting off. Not to mention guys tend to have issues staying with the same person, so porn is the alternative. So its a good thing!
Kira DUE 9/05/09 WITH A BABYGIRL:
May 27th, 2008 at 2:30 am
well about the porn, hes a guy, thats what guys do. i mean yeah i know it may upset you but again hes a guy. now about him not having sex with you and saying he doesnt want to hurt the baby, for one your baby is very very tiny, and plus protected by the amniotic sack. also when u touch him he tells you to stop? thats deffinitly a sign of cheating. not saying that he is but i would be very suspicious, but dont stress yourself out. dont give it away to him that u suspect sumthing. i would see how things go, if u need to talk to me further my email is. good luck n congrads
Amélie:
May 27th, 2008 at 3:20 am
I understand what you’re saying – You are more upset about how your fiance seems to prefer porn to yourself at this time, especially since you’re pregnant.
Porn, to a man, is not like having sex with his future wife. Sex with you would be emotive, loving, as well as sexy and all that jazz, but Porn is just a guy letting out steam, if you get my drift? More or less every guy watched porn – and I know you’ve done it together but even that would have been different because it was with the woman who he is inlove with.
I know it looks suspicious, but this may have no correlation at all. He might actually be afraid of harming the baby, maybe one of his friends said something to him, or he had a sudden realization after you’d already had sex whilst pregnant, and he was put into the frame of mind where he thinks he might hurt your child. If this is the case, then why don’t you print of picture from the internet or something, of your womb at 10 weeks (here is a good link) and show him your anatomy discreetly, making him aware of the difference between your cervix, vagina, and where the baby is living. If you do this, make it so you’re just showing him what your baby looks like.
If he is making it up, that he fully well knows that what the doctor has said it’s fine, and that he’s making it up for another reason, then I think you should express to him how you’re feeling. Say that you’re pregnant and at this time you are going to need him the most, and that his neglecting you is very upsetting. Say to him that you understand that him looking at porn is normal but for him to do it when he isn’t giving you any attention is heart-breaking, and that he’s making it very easy for you to jump to conclusions.
On the other hand, if you do discover that there is a correlation, and that he is watching porn because there is no sex life, then explain the situation to him. He might be scared that it isn’t going to be just the two of you any more. He might is probably scared that he’s going to have to grow up. This is a good thing though! Be happy it’s happening now and not when the baby arrives.
If this is the case, then explain to him that this is just another chapter of your life, that you are obviously still going to have fun, but everyone is going to have be a little bit more mature when the baby comes.
It is totally normal for dad’s to be to act this way, but that isn’t to say that it shouldn’t be painful for you.
Whatever it is, you need to talk to him about this.
Here is a link to a very similar question (I didn’t steal the answer of it I promise!!)
Good luck with everything, and congrats on your baby
xxxx
Grimlock420:
May 27th, 2008 at 10:29 pm
WOW only wom en seem to be responding to this one. Well I am a very happily married father of a two year old and this is my view from my experience. Porn is a guys best friend unless a woman can turn into anyone like Mystique from X-MEN ………NO WOMAN CAN BE WHAT A MAN WANTS 24/7………..I want big tits one sec and small the next skinny women one day and heavier the next, we can’t help it it’s just a guy thing stop bashing men. If you ever find he IS cheating on you in reality and not just his imagination then screw him, kick him out, disown the bastard. Guys have to get off on a regular or we get what is known as Blue Balls and it HURTS so we HAVE to relieve it.
Now the baby thing, man when my wife was pregnant at first I had more thoughts in my head than stars in the sky and it’s not personal against the wife but yes some of it is bad thoughts. I felt like I wasn’t good enough for the baby thats coming whether I wuz or not, I doubted my ability to be a good husband whether I wuz or not, I even felt like I would be molesting the child in some odd way if I had sex with her even though I knew better in my head, he haz a LOT going through hiz head right now and thats a GOOD thing but you do need to talk about it. HOWEVER don’t just expect one talk to solve the problem, after you talk leave him be for a few dayz to gather hiz thoughts, it’s a huge step in his life and yours and niether of you should go in half cocked thinking it’s simple cauze it’s not. He’ll figure things out but you have to trust him and let him work his head out and it sucks but you can’t make any of the decisions to the questions in his head, only he can and he’s trying. I had done so many drugs in my past that I literally cried like a kid the last three months of my wifes pregnancy cauze I thought it might effect my son, docs said he was fine but I still had the images of possibilities in my head………..that was the scariest day of my life when he was born. I would not have missed it for the world.
I am now a stay at home dad becauze I have the ability to do the things for my son and teach him the things he needs better than my wife can (She agrees too and she is still a damn good mom) I may have screwed up a lot in my past but this is the one thing I can honestly say I have done superb. She has a comfortable job that makes plenty of money to provide (Dish Provider Supervisor) I am OCD(Way too clean if you don’t know whut OCD is) I have experience with kids and I have disabled kids voluntarily for a while. I have the knowledge but that still cannot replace her being mom. My point is things are about to change forever and he knows it, if you push too hard he can go over that edge and leave or cheat, if you don’t push hard enough he can go over the edge and leave or cheat, (YES guys can be stupid like that, love it or leave it) but if you work WITH him and ask for his help you should both be able to work things out right and he will be even greater becauze of it. If you think working with your man when you don’t understand him and he does something you don’t like just wait till your kid gets here. This is the easy part but you gotta give him space and I know you have emotional and physical needs from being pregnant but whuts more important a screw or a damn good father? get a dildo my wife has one and I still watch her play with it sometimes it’s not gonna kill you. Hell if he watches he might jus get jeolous and help and after he might just do the rest himself. You may be prego but you can still tease and play without asking him to touch you.
Wigs, dildo’s roleplay costumes, hell huge fake breasts are good investments with any married couple but you gotta be able to play with his sexual imagination and have fun yourself, jus experiment and I hope things turn out good for ya’ll. I hope this helps and congrats on the baby it’ll be tortorous as hell but you won’t trade it in for the world once it is born.